


Heartbeat

by androgynousclintbarton



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 12:22:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20600708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: Kakashi gets some terrible news





	Heartbeat

The wooden roof shook slightly under the vibration of Kakashi's feet, electricity crackling under his feet as he waited impatiently for any sign of Gai.

He had looked everywhere. Gai's favorite training area, the dumpling shop he loved, his apartment. Every part of the village had been scoured in search for the other boy, but there was no sign of him. 

That was 3 hours ago.

He was usually home by now. He never had as many missions as Kakashi did, and he was rarely gone when Kakashi finally got back. 

This was annoying. He wanted Gai to show up, that stupid goofy smile om his face and a happy cheer when he saw Kakashi waiting for him. 

He wasn't supposed to be gone, off on some mission.

The wood started to crack, electric burn marks seared into them as he continued to tap his heel impatiently. He was glad no one was around, well, that everyone but Gai was around. He didn't need to hear about his 'amazing chakra control' by some fawning idiot. 

"Kakashi!" He glanced out towards the training field, relaxing when he saw that it was Asuma calling out to him and not someone he didn't want to see. 

Still, it wasn't Gai.

Asuma landed directly in front of him, worry etched into his face. He had probably seen kakashi sulking on the roof from a mile away, it didn't matter.

"Unless you know where Team Choza is getting back, I'm not interested." He huffed, his heart racing as he looked back out towards the sky for any sign of Gai. 

"Choza Sensei said he saw you running around the village." His eyes snapped back down to Asuma. If Choza Sensei was in Konoha, Gai was to. He wasn't allowed on Missions without his sensei. "I thought they would have told you."

His heart stopped, a familiar pain crawling over his chest. People only say that when there is bad news. When someone isn't waking up off the floor. When someone isn't coming back from fighting a demon fox.

They only say that when someone dies.

Asuma appeared in front of him in an instant, or maybe he had just walked over. Kakashi couldn't tell, his brain just wouldn't work. Nothing made sense.

He couldn't be alone, not again. He didn't want to face a world where he had absolutely no one. Where he wasn't allowed to have anyone. 

He didn't want another stone in the ground to visit in a crowded graveyard. 

Asuma's hands came down on his shoulders with just enough force to get his attention. 

"He's not dead."

Thump

His heartbeat was vibrating in his ears.gai wasn't dead, he wasn't gone. Kakashi hadn't lost him.

Still, something was wrong. 

"Where is he?" His voice was stern, but he knows the worry is dripping in every word. He needed to find Gai. He needed to be beside him. To know that he was alright. 

"The hospital." Asuma doesn't get a chance to say anything more, Kakashi is already mid jump towards the next building. Towards his next destination.

He'll thank Asuma later. Make it up to him with some Sake and a game of Shogi. Asuma always loved playing that game.

He landed in front of the hospital entrance with ease, his feet shifting into the drop to avoid injury. As soon as he had his footing, he bolted through the doors.

"Might Gai!" He slammed his hands against the desk, probably a little too hard. He hadn't actually meant to scare the nurses.

"Third floor." The one directly in front of him was glaring, but that was normal. She was almost always assigned to him when he was stuck in the hospital, and he obviously wasn't her favorite. "Room 11"

"Thank you." He bolted towards the stairs. He needed to get there asap. He needed to know that gai was alright. 

Thump

His heart hammered in his chest, the echo ringing in his ears. He needed Gai to be alright. 

He came to a hard stop in front of room 11, his eyes glued on the number and his body unable to move.

This wasn't how it went. This wasn't what he had agreed to when he let Gai in. When he allowed himself to risk falling in love once more. 

Gai wasn't supposed to get hurt. He wasn't supposed to end up in the hospital. It was Kakashi's job to risk himself, to keep The village safe...Gai safe. 

Gai was supposed to stay alive. He was supposed to be the one person the universe let him keep. 

The door creaked slightly when he reached out and gave it a gentle shove. There didn't seem to be anyone inside, perhaps they had all left already?

It didn't matter anyways. As soon as the door was open, his feet were in motion. It took only a few long strides until he was standing beside the bed, looking down at Gai.

"Why…" tears ran down his face, soaking into the fabric of his headband and mask as he reached out to take Gai's hand. He was warm, but warmth simply meant he was still alive. It didn't mean he was safe. It didn't guarantee that he wasn't injured. "You...you idiot. What did you do!?" He screwed his eyes shut, his chest tightening into itself.

It hurt.

He didn't want to hurt anymore. He was tired of hurting. 

His foot hooked onto the bed, a hand cautiously searching for any chest wounds or breaks. When he found nothing, he dared to collapse against the bed. 

He hated that Gai didn't wrap an arm around him. That he wasn't greeting him with that warm smile and that beautiful voice. 

He hated that he dared to love anyone again. Why was the universe so intent on taking away his special people?

He curled up close to the other boy, careful not to place his arm over any part of Gai's body that he had seen a cut on. His ear pressed up against Gai's chest, waiting and listening

Thump

Thump

The beat of Gai’s heart vibrated against his ear. Soft, solid, calming. He loved that sound more than anything. It meant Gai was safe.

It meant Gai was alive.

He could listen to that sound forever, if only he didn’t have to get out of bed.

If only he didn’t have places to be, missions to do.

“Kakashi.” He didn’t bother to turn around, he didn’t need to. It was obvious that the third Hokage was standing at the doorway to gai’s hospital room, a stern look on his face and a mission in hand. How had he even found Kakashi this fast? How did he know where he was?

He didn't want the mission, he didn't want the intrusion, he didn’t want to go anywhere. He wouldn't leave Gai.

“Kakashi.” This time the voice was sharper, forcing Kakashi to look behind him and level his eyes on the older man.

He knew what his eyes read. He could already tell by the look on the man’s face. He was angry at the interuption, annoyed at the assumption.

Why did no one understand that he needed to be here? Why did they always expect him to just drop his feelings at the door and work. To do what he was told.

Sometimes it was too much.

“I have a mission for you.” He already knew that, and he knew how important it was. An assassination or information collection, somethong to help the village.

Something to keep others safe and alive.

“Give it to someone else.” He turned his back to the man, ignoring the annoyed huff that he heard in response. He didn’t care.

He wouldn’t leave, he couldn’t.

Gai had to know someone was there, that someone cared. He had to know that he was needed, and he wouldn’t think that if he woke up alone.

Thump.

He closed his eyes.

“Kakashi.” This time the voice was full of anger. He wasn’t allowed to ignore the hokage, he knew that. He understood that.

But it didn’t matter.

The hokage was never going to be as important as gai. No one was important as gai, a least…no one alive.

He turned his head once more, his eyes screaming out his annoyance and anger. He was tired, he was done. He wanted nothing more to do with this conversation.

“You can have me any other time.” His voice was stern, surprising the older man if he read the reaction right. “You can work me into the ground, ask me to die for this village. You can ask me to do whatever mission you want, but right now…at this moment, find someone else!” His voice was angry now. He didn’t want to repeat himself.

He turned his back to the hokage once more and laid his head back down on Gai’s chest. Why did no one else understand? Why didn’t they get it?

They all saw gai and assumed he was nothing, just a weak shinobi trying to make a name for himself, but he was so much more.

He was Kakashi’s world. He was everything that held kakashi together, that kept him fighting to stay alive.

He focused on that soft sound again, listening to the thump over and over again.

He barly noticed the moment the hokage left, he didn’t care.

All that mattered was that soft sound. That reminder that gai was alive, that he would be ok.


End file.
